Reflection

Everywhere I go, people tell me I look exactly like my mom. Growing up, I always had people tell me I look exactly like my Dad.

Nowadays, they say I stand like her, look like her, smile like her, chuckle like her, move like her, I am feisty like her (Wait, What?? :) ). Her daughter I am in every way and for a young girl who lost her mother to Brain Cancer at thirteen, that is the best words that ears could ever hear. As Ive grown and matured, its like I morphed into my mother. Ironically, this all happened around the time I needed her here on earth the most.

The seasons I had with my mother were very limited. The memories I made with her, while the best ever, can never be increased. I dont really remember much about who she was, I didnt get enough time to really learn her. At thirteen you really arent mature enough to pay attention to the details. Those small things that I wish more than anything I knew about her. Her hopes, her fears. Her dreams. Did she wear blush? What country did she long to visit? Im not even sure I know what her favorite color was? 

You know what though? Thats ok because apparently, I am pretty much a carbon copy of her. Mirroring her was not something I chose, but it is something I cherish and hold dear to my heart. God tells me often that I can know her through knowing myself. When I see my reflection, I can see her. I see her in everything I do, like when I paint my nails red and they are long, they look exactly like I remember hers looking. My hands look exactly like hers. My moles are in the same pattern, my hair is the same texture. My music selections are pretty much identical to hers. 

Its like we are one in the same. There is a comforting closeness that comes from likeness, like cookies cut with the same cutter.

I am super happy to be her daughter, to carry on her legacy. I admired her so and I am privileged to receive a gift to see myself through her eyes, even though she is no longer here. 

I am reminded through my reflection that she has, was and always will be with me.