2012, a year of ups and downs!

Good-bye 2012, Hello 2013. 

A very low key night here in our household. I have been in my jammies for two days solid now. It has been so nice to veg out. 2012 was a wonderful, yet crazy year. I am so blessed to have my wonderful family. I am blessed to have the few friends that I can count on! 

2012 in short review, I turned 29. We started attending church regularly. We put God first. I celebrated 1 year of marriage with the best husband a girl could ask for. The kids turned 4 &10. I almost had a break down when my youngest started pre-k. I started my journey in photography. I became super close to co-workers. Adam joined a new band. and lots, lots more. 

I just know that God has many many blessings in store for me and my family in 2013. I am clinging to him with all my might and I have faith in the good things in my future!! God bless you all and to all a good night!

Love, 

Mandi

P.S. Don't forget Black eyed peas and cabbage tomorrow! ;)

Kullen's 10th Birthday!

10 years! Really?!!!?? How is it that my baby boy is already 10. TEN. It seems like just yesterday, I found out I was pregnant with him. I had him. Having him changed me so much. He gave me the fullness of knowing he was mine, he would always love me no matter what. He is always by my side no matter what. He loves me no matter what. I grew up with him. He taught me the importance of being a Mom. He has always been so laid back and mild mannered. He just has a good soul. I dont know how to explain it! Sure, he has entered some of the pre-teen, grumpyness mamma jamma, but overall you can not ask for a better kid. It is my prayer for him that he stays this way and that he is a strong christian man from the core. I want him to have firm beliefs and values. His whole life I have prayed for him to be a leader in whatever he is led to do. I know he is going to go far in life. I have faith in him! He will do great things! Happy 10th baby boy! You can hit the pause button anytime now. Before I know it, you will be driving. Eeeeek!

10 Things to tell your Daughter before Age 10

Recently, I stumbled upon this reading on good 'ol Pinterest. It really had me in deep thought for a minute. I am really wanting to help shape both of my children into strong, well-rounded, secure, christian- just plain 'ol good people. Right now, it seems so challenging with Reagan because girls are naturally more emotional. I'll have to remember the tips below in my parenting of a strong-willed, tender-hearted little girl. Even though Reagan is only 4, I know time will fly and she will be 10 before I know it.



Ten things I want my 10-year-old daughter to know:
1. It is not your job to keep the people you love happy. Not me, not Daddy, not your brother, not your friends. I promise, it's not. The hard truth is that you can't, anyway.
2. Your physical fearlessness is a strength. Please continue using your body in the world: run, jump, climb, throw. I love watching you streaking down the soccer field, or swinging proudly along a row of monkey bars, or climbing into the high branches of a tree. There is both health and a sense of mastery in physical activity and challenges.
3. You should never be afraid to share your passions. You are sometimes embarrassed that you still like to play with dolls, for example, and you worry that your friends will make fun of you. Anyone who teases you for what you love to do is not a true friend. This is hard to realize, but essential.
4. It is okay to disagree with me, and others. You are old enough to have a point of view, and I want to hear it. So do those who love you. Don't pick fights for the sake of it, of course, but when you really feel I'm wrong, please say so. You have heard me say that you are right, and you've heard me apologize for my behavior or point of view when I realize they were wrong. Your perspective is both valid and valuable. Don't shy away from expressing it.
5. You are so very beautiful. Your face now holds the baby you were and the young woman you are rapidly becoming. My eyes and cleft chin and your father's coloring combine into someone unique, someone purely you. I can see the clouds of society's beauty myth hovering, manifest in your own growing self-consciousness. I beg of you not to lose sight with your own beauty, so much of which comes from the fact that your spirit runs so close to the surface.
6. Reading is essential. It is the central leisure-time joy of my life, as you know. I am immensely proud and pleased to see that you seem to share it. That identification you feel with characters, that sense of slipping into another world, of getting lost there in the best possible way? Those never go away. Welcome.
7. You are not me. We are very alike, but you are your own person, entirely, completely, fully. I know this, I promise, even when I lose sight of it. I know that separation from me is one of the fundamental tasks of your adolescence, which I can see glinting over the horizon. I dread it like ice in my stomach, that space, that distance, that essential cleaving, but I want you to know I know how vital it is. I'm going to be here, no matter what, Grace. The red string that ties us together will stretch. I know it will. And once the transition is accomplished there will be a new, even better closeness. I know that too.
8. It is almost never about you. What I mean is that when people act in a way that hurts or makes you feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about you. I struggle with this one mightily, and I have tried very, very hard never once to tell you you are being "too sensitive" or to "get over it" when you feel hurt. Believe me, I know how feelings can slice your heart, even if your head knows otherwise. But maybe, just maybe, it will help to remember that almost always other people are struggling with their own demons, even if they bump into you by accident.
9. There is no single person who can be your everything. Be very careful about bestowing this power on any one person. I suspect you are trying to fill a gnawing loneliness, and if you are you inherited it from me. That feeling, Woolf's "emptiness about the heart of life," is just part of the deal. Trying to fill that ache with other people (or with anything else, like food, alcohol, numbing behaviors of a zillion sorts you don't even know of yet) is a lost cause, and nobody will be up to the task. You will feel let down, and, worse, that loneliness will be there no matter what. I'm learning to embrace it, to accept it as part of who I am. I hope to help you do the same.
10. I am trying my best. I know I'm not good enough and not the mother you deserve. I am impatient and fallible and I raise my voice. I am sorry. I love you and your brother more than I love anyone else in the entire world and I always wish I could be better for you. I'll admit I don't always love your behavior, and I'm quick to tell you that. But every single day, I love you with every fiber of my being. No matter what.
This post originally appeared on A Design So Vast.

Capsule that holds time

Capsule that holds time.

or Time capsule.



......................................

We will all be on Christmas break in a week. Adam & I will both be off this year while the kids are out of school. I want this to be a time of rest and relaxation. I want to be able to sleep late and wake up and drink coffee in my robe. I fully plan vegging out and watching every Christmas show on tv. I apologize in advance if you come over and I haven't brushed my hair.

My main focus though will be on family time. I want to cram in so much and make memories. I can remember being a young child and being so excited about Santa coming. The smell of the house was of baked goods, pecan pies and cookies and such. I can remember my mom reading me Christmas stories. I remember my Memaw poking a candy cane in an orange and me thinking that is was the best flavor in the world. As, I grew a bit older, I remember my Dad stringing the Christmas lights, and wrestling beneath the tree with my brother and I. I want my kids to have good memories of this time of year. The small things and the simple things are always the best. I want them to grow closer to the Lord and I want them to appreciate life and be grateful for their blessings. They will remember how they felt, not how much they received.

This year I want to make a time capsule. We will reopen it in 2022. I want each of us to put items in it. Different things and such, like what the price of gas is, milk, who is famous and so on. For me, I am going to write a letter to all three of them. Adam, Kullen and Reagan. You never know what all may happen in 10 years.
We may all be alive and well, thriving and surviving. Things will have definitely changed though as whether we want them to or not, things change. We grow older, kids become independent and spread their wings....
the list goes on.



I have learned so many positive things out of losing my Mom. It has made me be a good Mom. My intentions are to pass on my inheritance from my Mom to my kids. I didn't inherit money or a big dream house. I inherited a legacy of trusting in the Lord. It has been passed down from her and instilled in me, this gave me every chance to have the opportunity to gain a heavenly inheritance.

My Mom's wish for me was to simply and essentially be trusting in the Lord. This is my wish for my children. For with him, everything falls into place.



Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. Psalm 16:5a

Have a BLESSED and MERRY Christmas!
Mandi

Flashback December 2007

Would you just look at my baby boy!

Rudy- Our Elf-Letter from Santa

Rudy, our Elf on the Shelf, brought the following letter from the North Pole. Santa sent it to the kids.


.........

Dear Mr. Kullen Boy and Little Lady Reagan,

Ho! Ho! Ho! I hope you two are having a great Christmas season so far!

“Christmas” – gets very busy and kind of crazy.
Everyone just focuses on “want, want, want.” 

Have you been telling your Mommy and Adam what you want for Christmas? 
It’s ok to want a few things, but I’ve seen people – grown ups and kiddos –

very selfish with all the stuff they want.
They want so many things that they forget the whole reason we even have Christmas….
 

Jesus – God’s son who was born a long, long, long time ago…

The very first “Christmas present” ever given to the whole big world.

I don’t want you two to forget about Jesus as you prepare for Christmas. 

I want you to enjoy all the fun –
hot chocolate, singing Christmas songs, candy and presents –
but I don’t want you to forget the most important present: God’s love for us and His son, Jesus. 
I don’t want you to forget that it’s still important to love others …

to be nice to other people …
to help other people (even your Mommy, Adam, and each other) …

to show other people how wonderful Jesus is.

So, even though Rudy does alot of silly and crazy things he

is also around to help you kids (and your Mommy and Adam)
remember these important parts about Christmas: Jesus, God’s love

and our job of joyfully sharing that love
with others through our gifts, kind words and loving actions

 (the things we do for one another).

Remember: Rudy is at your house, watching everything that happens … as a reminder for you to:
 ■Love each other
 ■Speak nicely to one another
 ■Help each other
 ■Help your friends and neighbors too
 ■Give to people who don’t have all the stuff you have
 ■Remember that God loves you kiddos so, so, so much.

 

Keep smiling and being good! Keep your grades up too! Christmas will be here soon.

Santa Claus

Half of a year of no blog post

Between school starting and the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I managed once again to let the blog post slip....It wasn't intentional. I would always think, maybe I'll post later. Later came and passed and still no post. Life seems to have been a blur lately. I know you all can totally understand that. At what point do I slow down and take time to post. It is important because it is time I take for just myself. It also hold memories and stories that are precious. Now, we know that if I haven't made time to blog, I haven't written a thing down anywhere. Sure, I remember stuff about my life now, but in a year or two- or five..Will I remember? Not as well as I would if I took the time to post the highlights.

I have been taking a hard look at myself lately. Really soul searching and working on weaknesses. I have realized that some of our greatest strengths are are greatest weaknesses. It is hard. I mean, really hard to work on really bettering yourself. Nobody wants to admit thier weaknesses and flaws. In order to grow and be better it is something I must and am doing. It make take a whole lifetime, but I will get there.

We have been going to church. I was needing to get back in the groove of going, but an event, or series of events happened and it was the push that got me really needing church. Although, it was rough, I am so thankful the lord has been with me every step of the way and made everything and everyone align for support. It was ok for me to fall apart......and I did and I am slowing coming back together. Looking back, it is such a blessing. God molds and shapes us into who we are intended to be. He has been working on me and just in the last 4 months I have changed so much.

Kullen is growing so fast. He is about to be 10! When I started this blog he was 4 years old. He is in 4th grade and is doing so well in school. Sure, he struggles but he has managed to keep A/B Honor roll so far. I have all the faith in the world in him that he will succeed in whatever he puts his mind to. I am starting to see some pre-teenish behavior but I am trying to find ways to curve the attitude and teach him to be well rounded. We pray together every night and this has seemed to help him. He is sitting next to me- rolling with laughter watching t.v. This is just one of the many qualities I love about him. So fun loving! He has a big heart too. ;)

Reagan, ohhh, my sassy 30yr old stuck in a 4yr old body. She has been doing pretty well in school. I am pretty positive she is giving Mrs. Waldrop a run for her money. Her personality is very outgoing. Sometimes this is a great thing. She loves to sing and dance. She is the loudest little person I have ever witnessed. Her being so outgoing can something get her in to trouble as she doesnt listen. She loves everyone and I have to say she always has a smile on her face.

Adam & I have had some challenges lately with me being somewhat emotional, but I wouldn't say it was bad for our marriage. We both had God in our hearts but now we have got together and put GOD first in our lives. LETMETELLYOU, it makes a big difference. Adam is my best friend and I am so glad to have him to lean on.

I would like to think I have a new relationship with my Dad. I got over some things, and we moved on and we eat together every Sunday. I cant tell you how complete this has made me. Although I always wanted to place the blame on him, I know that I played a part in the distance too. Its hard to just bite the bullet, but I did and it got me what I wanted anyways and that was to have a good relationship with him. ( not that we ever didn't get along, we just would go awhile without talking)
So this includes my Step mom, which I call Gigi. We've gotten closer and she is a pretty wise lady. She gave me some really good advice and well, I just love her.

My memaw is still my best friend ever, we talk everyday. I despise the distance between us, but that doesn't matter. That woman is the greatest. I miss my family down there too. Cousins and such. You wouldn't be able to pry me away from my cousin Jana if I lived there. ;) My Step dad, Tom, I miss too. Alot of people don't understand why I consider him a Step dad. Well, he has always been there. When someone cares about you, you can tell if it is from the heart. Well, I know he loves me no matter what. I love him too. I know that if my mom was still here they would be together, or I would like to think that anyways, and I can think what I want to. lol So just because she is no longer here doesn't mean that I cant still love him. ;)

I've got a special post coming in a few days...

love,
Mandi